Who am I?

How often do we ask ourselves this question? I know I’ve been pondering this quite a bit on my own lately. Am I my job? My relationships? My hobbies? My goals and dreams? My failures and missteps? Do I associate myself with the tangible, or do I think I am above it all?

This is a question worth asking every now and then. To fully apply yourself each and every day (which has to be our one main goal in life), it helps to know how and what you are applying. This involves knowing, accepting, and staying true to oneself.

Who am I? At this moment, I am cubicle me, sitting in on a lunch. I am anxious, as my mindset has been quite scattered lately. I am worried, as I need a peace within that has been lacking. I am the dreamer who too often fantasizes about the ‘what if?’. I am jaded, too preoccupied with chastising myself to notice the good qualities within me. I am afraid, not of a single thing, but everything. I am one who would rather witness other people living their own lives than to live my own. I am the puzzle missing half its pieces, too many to tell what kind of picture I will yield. I am well intentioned, yet lacking initiative. I am kind, yet selfish. I am overactive, mind constantly racing as the world slowly moves around me. I am timid, avoiding to do what is best for me for reasons unknown. I am the car in neutral, able to move when given a push, but stuck rolling backwards when faced with a hill. I am the open door, exposing a cozy interior to the harsh elements due to negligence. I am naked, afraid to expose myself to the world. I am the diamond in the rough, waiting to be polished. I am one who lets go of the steering wheel, questioning why I seem to be drifting off path.  I am one who reads “push” and tries to pull the door open. I am the whiteboard, capable of being wiped clean and given a fresh start. I am the ego, clinging to validation and identification. I am behind the ego, knowing the simple truth – I am.

That is who I am. For now. I expect this to change tomorrow. And the day after that. I am never bound to my past, nor am I stifled by the future. I am the present. The now. Part of the only bit of life that we can ever hope to experience. Each day I make a decision to change who I am. Sometimes that change is lacking, but the decision is still made.

Ask yourself each day, “Who am I?” because you just might be surprised at the results. That which you deem unpleasant, you now know to rectify. That which you cherish, you now know to encourage. That which you find lacking, you now know to seek. That which you do not know, you now know to explore. Each day we are given a gift – 24 hours of opportunity. We should all strive to rest our eyes at the end of the day, knowing full well we did everything we could to better ourselves. To not have let a minute of those precious hours gone to waste. Anything less is only cheating ourselves.

I write these words, and then I read them. The question arises, “will I listen?”

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