Ever been punched in the gut, literally or figuratively? Maybe you fully expected to get a job/promotion/good grade/etc and were met with a disappointing outcome. Or maybe you were drunk and accidentally told that guy at the bar, who was much bigger than you, that his face reminded you of the underside of a toilet seat. Either way, I think we can all say we’ve experienced a moment where our gut felt like it was temporarily relocated to our throat.
One of the things that bothers me about me is my seemingly inability to do what is best for me. Currently, I am working at a job where I really see myself having no future. No biggie, as many people are in the same boat as I am. However, I’m not sure as many people have handled their situation as poorly as I have. It was fine for a year and a half, but over the past few months, I really let my apathy bleed into every facet of the job, culminating in actual punishment. Like, official business kinda punishment. They sat me down, asked me what I was doing, and I had to basically tell them I had no idea.
Never a fun situation to be in, honestly. And I won’t pretend that it gives me no mind. No. Instead, I’m pretty ashamed of my actions, but since 2013 rolled around, I’ve been doing the right thing. Life is a matter of input=output. Life doesn’t owe you anything. What you do is all that matters. It doesn’t matter how you think things should be, it just matters on what you actually, physically do in order to reach that point. You can sit back and think about how great you think a person of the opposite sex is, for instance, but unless you do something about it, they won’t know and life will keep moving right along, leaving you to pine for them in solitude.
So I’ve really tried to adapt this new attitude for the New Year. Which is why it came as a punch to the gut when my work decided to suspend me without pay for a few days. Yikes. Now, it was deserved, let’s not kid myself, but I had been putting in the effort recently, so it was disappointing. Too little, too late, I suppose.
However, I’m really looking at this as a positive thing. I know I’ve got the right mindset these days, so a little time to myself is going to be refreshing. Got a few ideas. Maybe do some meditating, some writing, some exercising….really just do me. And it’s going to be relaxing. A 5 day weekend for me to just do my own thing. I’ve already busted out a few words. Dabbled on a new chapter for “Chuck”, or whatever it seems that I’m doing with that story. Not sure yet, just sitting down and writing as it comes to me. Curious where Chuck takes me.
One of my newest ideas, one I really think I might roll with, is doing a live blog of the Super Bowl. I’ve always enjoyed live blogging of interesting events, especially of the Bill Simmons variety, so I think, hey, why not me? It’ll give me a good chance to really improvise and see what I can come up with off the top of my head. Grab my iPad, bring it with me to whatever venue I end up at, and keep posting updates. Should be fun, and the reader should be able to gauge my increasing level of intoxication!
These are the things I can think about when I’m not allowed to be at work. And that’s a good thing. Well, it’s a bad thing, but I’ve totally spotted the silver lining.