I’ll give you a quick snapshot of my life over the past 4 months. I was working two jobs, six days a week, while coaching nearly every available second besides that. This is on top of having to make a unwelcome move (but one that is for the best), dealing with a death in the family (first to strongly impact my life), and being in a general state of morose.
To sum it up: the last 4 months were hell for me. I was stressed out, completely. I wasn’t taking care of myself, my mood was sinking lower by the day, I was having to miss days of work or practices just to be able to cope, and I wasn’t enjoying coaching the way I was accustomed to.
Then coaching ended, on quite a high note I might add (champs!), and things have settled down long enough for me to take a step back and just catch my breath. I’ve started exercising regularly again, which is by far the best thing I can do for my mental health. I’ve made what I need to do a priority again. I’m getting things done throughout the day, where as in the previous months it was enough to “just get by” and see another day.
So things are looking good. I’m feeling instilled with a sense of purpose lately. Which is why it sucks when things don’t work your way. For instance, recently hung out with a chick (I’ll be vague on the details) that has long been of interest to me. Now, I don’t mean I’ve pined for her consistently for years, nothing like that. But she’s been my, “what if” girl. You know what I mean? Someone you’ve always gotten along with well, the attraction is there, but things just don’t pan out for whatever reason.
So I recently strike things up with her again, because I’m feeling good, and it seems about time to make it happen. Fittingly, for reasons completely understood and mostly of my own fault, it’s not going to work out this time either. Am I surprised? Not in the slightest. It almost makes me laugh, because that’s just the way it’s been with this particular girl.
Still, there was some part of me that actually thought it was going to work out all sunshine and rainbow farts this time. Something about my recent momentum had me confident that this time, it was happening. But c’est la vie.
At least I tried, I suppose. Who knows, given time, I might end up revisiting this scenario, because I can’t seem to escape it. For now, it’s time to keep working on myself. Keep on doing me. There’s more fish in the sea and all that, but I don’t think I’ll be fretting over a catch anytime soon.