Because, if I keep at it, eventually I’m sure someone I know will read this. Family members and potential employers and blah public blah privacy blah. But then I realize, that I am constantly trying to pander myself to whatever group I happen to be speaking to. I’ll find myself using a different vocabulary or I might be less outspoken, whatever I guess I think is the best “me” for the moment. Screw that though, right? I should be truly in the moment, as myself as I can be, regardless of my company. Within reason, of course. While I’m sure I’m not the first one to want to yell “THIS BLOWS” during a meeting, I don’t think it’d be prudent.
You get my point though, I hope. So anyways, I thought of these things before I thought to post the following:
I had a sort of moment tonight. Nothing profound or insightful, just a sort of moment where I think, “hunh, so this is happening.”
I pulled into my driveway and popped out of my car just tonight. I still had half a smoke, so I thought I’d take this moment to relief myself. I found my way to the stream beside our driveway, and got things ready. “I should listen to music right now” I brilliantly exclaimed to no one. I grab my smoke and phone in one hand, myself in the other, and begin to cycle through Pandora stations. As I start to let loose a solid stream, I pick a station and am delighted to hear one of my favorite songs trickle through the speakers. It was in that moment that I thought, “I don’t think I’ve ever had my dick in one hand, while picking the perfect song in the other.”
So there’s that.
P.S. The song was by N.E.R.D
P.P.S Before y’all say anything, I’ll give you the token response: “Yes I know it’s bad for me and I plan on quitting.”